Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
