My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
