She is in my trunk
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We left the knife in your bed.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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