fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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