I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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