she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
