bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
