I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Success! We fucked roommates!
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