using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
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just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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