my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
