like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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