is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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