I cockslap morals
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think I sprained my soul last night
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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