??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
