Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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