Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
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She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
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She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
They have beer where we have blood.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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