Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
