Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
