They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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