He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
