It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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