Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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