what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
