Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
