i would punch a child for taco bell
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
