You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
