i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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