Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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