these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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