we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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