My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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