We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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