who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
