i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You're like the curious george of whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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