Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize