your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
