You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
