you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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