Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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