It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
