I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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