at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
