Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
