My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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