yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
