See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
