this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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