i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize