when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize