The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
