I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
