Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
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