Your dad touched me again.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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