you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
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All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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