You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So much rum. So many feels.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
