I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
